Ellen, you're such a tease

On Tuesday I was at the temp job, per the usual. We decided to have an office lunch, so I volunteered to head to Panera and pick up all of our bread bowls, soups and muffin tops.

While holding a very heavy bag of Panera for 10, I spotted every woman's dream come true:

The Swaggin' Wagon ... Ellen Degeneres y'all!

I am in for the niiiiiight ... Anyone? Anyone?

After I stopped a stranger on the street and said "TAKE PICTURE PLEASE NOW OF FACE THANK YOU!" I ran the soup back the office, and began a Twitter frenzy.

While on Twitter, I found out that Ellen was going to be at the Bridgestone Arena, LIVE, and her fans should bring something starting with a "C" a "M" and an "A."

Oh. I wonder why.

After work, I changed into my sneakers and ran the mile through downtown. WHICH, at CMA time of year, is complete chaos and glitter.

I got to Bridgestone and walked into, what can best be described as, a Greek-life Halloween party.

I thought that my Chapstick, Magnet, and Applejuice would surely secure me a place in the running for Ellen's CMA tickets.

It did not. I had no chance up against the guy who brought his cat, or the lady who brought a mannequin, or really anyone else, because I had come there alone, and why would Ellen ever want to go to the CMAs with me and my applejuice when she could go with the guys dressed as a Caterpillar, a Moose, and an Amphibian [run on sentence, winning].

So I took my coffee-stained, cable-knit sweater wearing self on home, heated up some Amy's, watched a few episodes of Frasier, and called it a good night.